You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
