Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
