Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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