Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
