R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I need a beard to bite.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
