All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
