upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
