found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i believe in u and ur pee
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
