I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
