Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize