I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
