I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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