Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
