Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
