so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
