Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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