The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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