just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
