Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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