Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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