Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
