I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
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I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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