My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
