Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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