I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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