Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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