Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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