Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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