I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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