Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
