I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We need to get me chipped asap
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
