I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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