Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
