Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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