Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
