I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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