We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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