I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
