I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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