my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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