I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
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Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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