STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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