Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Randomize
