What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
