I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
