He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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