i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
