You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
