just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
