Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Drunk is a universal language darling
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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