I can tuck mytits in my pants
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
soo... how was my night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
