before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
