Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
