My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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