YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
