my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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