sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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