I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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