i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
