I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
