I showed him my bush... on skype.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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