oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
