I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
