His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
