wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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